The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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