That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
