Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
