I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
