i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
