i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Come on in and take your pants off
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