Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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