Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
