So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
