I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
