i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
