So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
