She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
