i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
