I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
