i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
