Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Randomize