he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
