i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
