i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Randomize
