Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
