her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
