Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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