I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize