doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
