Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
