I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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