He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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