Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize