at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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