just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
they're like a gay fantastic four
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize