Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
