so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It's Friday. Sex?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he fucked my hip out of place.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
