I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
