I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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