You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
