I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
