ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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