Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
