He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
