I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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