woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
