its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You made out with two different species that night
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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