Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
