Kiss
Puke
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
