Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
