I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
