So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
As shirtless as possible
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
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