He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
