Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
