Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
