You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my sisters under your porch take her home
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
