at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
