please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
