i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
