so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
