just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
