You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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