He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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