I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
